How do they get the figs in to the fig rolls?

Hello There I am the Professor and these are my Professional Plausible Ponderings. Well I had a quite summer, which left me plenty of time to

Peruse and ponder the real mysteries of life. Now every edition of this blog I will answer one of these great life mysteries. The first one is a topic that

Has plagued mankind for generations. How do they get the figs in to the fig rolls?

Well after many hours of trawling through the Internet speaking to men in

Suits and watched many hours of TV. What results did this investigating prove well it all propaganda. The truth is all company’s Tesco’s Supervalue etc they

All get their fig rolls from the one company. So what strange about that lots of company’s outsource they produce. This company is no ordinary company the persons in charge for use of a better word are in fact the robot aliens from that Smash TV advertisement. Do you remember it that horrible potato like stuff.

Well after Smash left the market they went in to business making Fig rolls.

They are the bosses and the workforce is an army of umpa lumpa’s.

This became unemployment after the ordinary versions of Charlie and the chocolate factory rapped up. So these umpa lumpa’s pick the figs from fig tress then travel to their homeland of lumpaland. Where they plant the figs in special fields where the soils content is rich and full of the necessary nutrients needed for the transformation. There they stay until the next full moon when the umpa lumpa’s return to harvest the figs. Just as the caterpillar becomes the butterfly the figs have become fig rolls. Then they are just simply sent out to be packaged and they arrive on the shelves of your local store. This is the truth believe it if you want or continue to believe the propaganda that they simply roll the rigs in batter.

That it for today im off to ponder someting else.
TTFN.